Amusing Quotes?

{well, I thought so at one time or another!}

Profound...

The road to wisdom, well it's
plain and simple to express,

err,
and err,
and err again,

but
less,
and less,
and less.

On computer programming...

The following "items" should stand as a cautionary sign to all hackers, computer engineering/science students and would-be software engineers.

• If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
• Profanity is the one langauge all programmers know best.
• You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
• f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
• At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. {Tom Gibb}

Makes ya fink though, don't it?

• Sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to write a shorter one. {Mark Twain}
• Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. {Bill Watterson, cartoonist}
• I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on tape somewhere.
• I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. {Wizard of Oz}
• Male zebras have white stripes, female zebras have black stripes.
• Computers are useless. They can only give answers. {Pablo Picasso}
• God is real, unless declared integer.
• If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
• There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know absolutely nothing about. {Anon.}
• Experience is a hard teacher. She tests first and teaches afterward. {Anon.}
• Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect. - {Steven Wright}
• Ignorance is bliss unless you are surrounded by it. {??}

A little deeper...

• Childhood is that state which ends the moment a puddle is first viewed as an obstacle instead of an opportunity. {Kathy Williams}
• If you don't understand my words, how can you understand my silence?
• Beaten paths are for beaten men.
• Words lie in our way! Whenever the ancients set down a word, they believed they had made a discovery. How different the truth of the matter was! - They had come across a problem; and while they supposed it to have been solved, they actually had obstructed its solution. - Now in all knowledge one stumbles over rock-solid eternalized words, and would sooner break a leg than a word in doing so. - Nietzsche (The Dawn, 47)
• Vocational training is the training of animals or slaves. It fits them to become cogs in the industrial machine. Free men need liberal education to prepare them to make a good use of their freedom. (John Dewey, 1916 AD)

And finally,

• The student's palindrome: Pupils slip up!
• and the academic's motto: PubliSH IT!

(c) the original authors, known or unknown! David Davenport